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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998969">we'll cast some light and you'll be alright (for now)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Machetonim/pseuds/Machetonim'>Machetonim</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Oxenfree (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>:P, Amnesia, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Time Fuckery, as usual, i think thats it, idk - Freeform, wait no i changed the ending nevermind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:27:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,501</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Machetonim/pseuds/Machetonim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ghost of a smile.<br/>(ghost - <em> ha </em>)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clarissa &amp; Jonas (Oxenfree), Clarissa &amp; Nona (Oxenfree), Nona/Ren (Oxenfree), if you squint, mentioned Alex/Nona (Oxenfree), mentioned Jonas/Ren (Oxenfree)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we'll cast some light and you'll be alright (for now)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is just a draft, so I'm probably going to go back to it, but I'm tired of rewriting this, so here you go.</p><p>Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this trash.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex knows she's stuck. She's always been- been <em> here </em> . Here, at this time. All of them, reliving 123456789zerozero<strong>zer</strong>ozerozer<span class="u">o</span> months over and over again. God, Alex was  <em> so tired.  </em>She envied Ren. There was rarely a loop where he noticed. His big brown eyes would glitter as he went on and on about absolutely nothing of importance. He was responded to with weak smiles and looks that went straight through him.</p><p>...That might be why she took his brownie and split it between them. They were gonna fucking need it.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>-and Jonas never says anything. Jonas would never say anything. He's too sweet. Far too kind. That's why he sits next to her on the porch at 11:46 PM when she can't sleep. He hands over Michael's jacket. And just talks. About some wild story Ren told him at school (they fight every loop - Alex wants to throw herself off the tower every time), and Alex feels tears in her eyes because Jonas<strong>noneofthem</strong> <strike>doesn't</strike> des e r   ve this.</p><p>But she stays quiet and listens, and they settle into a comfortable silence. She doesn't want her brother to hear her hideous voice crack from misuse. (Alex screams into her pillow a lot - surprisingly, she feels a little better after. Well, about half the time.)</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>So. Alex can't sleep again. Everything's quiet, except it's not. It's a weird limbo. Like, it's clear outside with the stars visible (and yeah, there are two moons, but they've seen weirder, so it doesn't matter), but at the same time, there's a storm. She can't hear the thunder, not really, but the lightning brightens up her room every once in awhil<strong>--------</strong>e thing is, though it should be fine, it's not; like a <strong>sad</strong> mask covering a sad face. Alex wraps it (um, I... I saw MichaelMichaelMichaelwhere) around her shoulders and reminds herself to tell (I am nothing. I go nowhere.  <em> I have no brother. </em> ) she <strike>loves</strike> ( <strong> no </strong> ) when they loop. <strong> we understand                </strong><span class="u">completely</span></p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>She feels a rumble, a shake, like the whole world is trying to make her lose her balance. It makes her quickly snap out of her thoughts, but it's just the bus picking up speed again. The afternoon sun stabs at her eyes. She blinks twice, then winces and scoots out of the way.</p><p>Her sudden movements causes Ren to look in her direction. He doesn't really look away. Just stares, like he's thinking hard<em>wouldn'twantyoutohurtyourself-</em></p><p>And Alex knows.</p><p>She knows Ren is noticing her strange behavior. She's tired all the time, but sleep never fixes it, and he knows it(he's not an idiot, he just chooses to be ignorant). He knows her better than anyone. He says somethi<strong> ---t </strong>il he doesn't. Alex knows Ren's lost in thought a lot more often this loop than he's letting on because Alex knows him better than anyone - and Ren has... quite a fascinating way of thinking (sometimes he starts sentences and trails off - he usually doesn't speak afterwards for minutes at a time).</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Clarissa come over. Jaws is playing, so she goes outside (I-I heard she's afraid of water now), and Jonas follows her. She shares her lighter with him <em>you smell disgusting. </em><strong>i sh<em>owered last night-</em></strong> and they'd go inside when the movie's over. Alex scolds them for not putting the cigarette's out___________t^   -snorts, but doesn’t say anything.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Nona comes over later with soup for Ren <strong>a sickness</strong>, and Alex never stops saying <em> sorry  </em> because she didn't know, and  <em> that's okay, you're tired, </em>  but  <em> nono no, that doesn't excuse anything </em>  and wow, Alex, don't be a drama queen. Nona would make hot chocolate (so Alex stop feeling youareguilty) because it's another November in Oregon. Ren would loudly (Alex is beginning to think Ren doesn't know what  <em> quiet </em>  is - maybe their mutual hate for silence is what makes them such good friends) remember it was the way Michael liked it. The ghost ( <em> ghost - </em> hahahahhahahahaahahhahahahahahahhahhaa. a. a. a. a. aa. <em>oh</em>) of a smile would form on Clarissa's lips.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Maybe Nona holds Clarissa's hand as the ocean touches her feet. Maybe(like *that* night).</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Alex lets Clarissa go.<strong>whatever<em>youcanhaveher</em></strong>Nona doesn't look her in the eyes anymore. Ren and Nona break up over it. Ren doesn't come over as much anymore. Jonas avoids her as much as possible. It hurts a lot more than Alex wants to admit(sorry, who are you).</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>"Where's Clarissa?"</p><p>"Who's Clarissa?"</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Everyone and everything is fine, and Nona's smiling because Michael said something weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid<strong> r </strong> <em> uns in the family </em>. Jonas and Michael... <strong>i</strong>s awkward, but only because Alex makes it awkward.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>-vows to never sacrifice Clarissa  s<strong> he's-  </strong> * <strong> replaced </strong> * <strong>  Michael in the pockets of my mind that gets most... <em> reca </em> </strong> <em> lle </em>d.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>"I- is that... Nona, what are you doing?"</p><p>"Ren, what are you talking about- wait, Ren. Ren, what are you doing. Wait up, Ren. Ren? Holy shit, Ren!"</p><p>
  <em>...thud.</em>
</p><p>"<strong>Ren!</strong>"</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>idontknowwhyAlex breaks her vow<strong> it's a strange consequence, </strong></p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>He gives her a sad look. He knows, he knows, <em>they all know.</em> "I'm supposed to be dead, Alex. I-I want-" to be dead. And Alex knows she can never convince him otherwise. It's such a painful feeling, deep in her chest. Like someone's grabbed her heart and squeezed. It's like- it's like he's dying all over again.</p><p>And he is, isn't he?</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Clarissa gets a            saw<em> the </em>ma <strong> n n</strong>ot the <strong>dog. </strong></p><p>Her voice is shaky as she whispers, “How could you ever want me?” Something breaks. </p><p>
  <em>Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Alex actually throws herself off Dick Harden (still fucking hilarious) tower. It's exhilerating, falling, falling, falling. Nona's screaming <em>so loud,</em> but Alex is in the here and now. Man, she's going so fast she wonders if she'll actually feel it when she-</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Alex cries herself to sleep every night.<strong>you'd think she'd eventually run out of tears</strong></p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Ren always loved the town, but the island pretty much erased that in one fell swoop. He ended up going to college in California. He sends postcards of the blueblueb<strong> leepy time gal </strong> and puts piles of sand in the envelopes he sends.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat.</em>
</p><p>"Clarissa! God, where are you?" Nona stops when she sees the water covering the floors and soaking the carpet. It's coming from the bathroom. No. No, no, Nona has seen the movies she knows how this goes, she knows what she'll see, but... She can't help it. She throws the door open.</p><p>Clarissa's face lays down in the overflowing tub, her knees pulled up against her chest. Her <strong>r</strong>ed hair swirls above the murky white water. Nona screams. (She drowned. Ironic.)</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Ren goes into the kitchen to fetch more popcorn, Alex making inside jokes no one understands all the while. Jonas smiles softly, but it's kind of obvious he doesn't really- he doesn't<strong>think long and hard about those friends.</strong></p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>"Oh, scavenger hunt,! Scavenger hunt, scavenger hunt."</p><p>She chuckles, "Wait, wait <em>kissmekissmekissmekissmekissmekissmewaitnonevermind </em></p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Jonas has cancer.clarissa<strong>awhecalled yo</strong>u <em>hun</em> why don't you crawl down from there, <strong>˙ou </strong> please?</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Whateve</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>r.</p><p>
  <em>Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Jonas... it doesn't matter. ~~~~~~~it's the truth he's my(brother Jonas is not himself<strong> <em> Mom, can you </em></strong>)</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>It was dark, but the streetlights lit up the road quite well. He staggers off the sidewalk and onto the road. He sees the blinding headlights, knows the car's going way past the speed limit, he turns and he <em>looks</em>, and he sees it coming towards him. He's high so maybe that's why he only stares as the car gets closer, and closer, and closer, and-,You are <strong>dolls. Would never hurt you </strong></p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Alex forgot.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>She can't do her homework. She can't focus on it. Before, blasting shit through her headphones helped, but now. Now she just stares. Into space, into the closet stuffed with dirty laundry she has yet to do, at the door (sometimes, <strong>rarely, but some</strong>times she waits for Michael to walk through it,) at anything really. But most of the time, she stares at her desk.</p><p>There's nothing special about it, it's just a desk. Boring old brown, with her pencils and her computer and her desklamp. But there's one thing. One little, small, tiny, thing that rests on it, giving the boring desk it's touch. Red(is such an awful color), with an antenna. The dials watch her, it's blank screen laughs at her. Mocks her. And she, a stubborn thing, refuses to look away. Because the desk is where Alex has the radio <em> why doyoukeep i t </em>.</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Alex keeps forgetting things. Didn't Maggie die?</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>To whom it should concern,</p><p>- .... .. ... / .. ... .-.. .- -. -.. --..-- / .- -. -.. / .. - ... / .... .. ... - --- .-. -.-- --..-- / .. ... / .- / .-.. .. . .-.-.- / .. / .... .- ...- . / -... . . -. / -.-. --- -- .--. . .-.. .-.. . -.. / -... -.-- / -... --- - .... / ..-. --- .-. -.-. . ... / --- ..- - ... .. -.. . / -- -.-- / -.-. --- -. - .-. --- .-.. / .- -. -.. / -- -.-- / --- .-- -. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. ..-. ..- .-.. / -.-. --- -. -.-. . .-. -. / ..-. --- .-. / - .... . / ... .- ..-. . - -.-- / --- ..-. / --- - .... . .-. ... / - --- / -.-. --- -. -.-. . .- .-.. / - .... . / -- .- -. -.-- / - .-. ..- - .... ... / .- -... --- ..- -<strong>do not come to Edwards Island. It is not safe. </strong></p><p>- M</p><p>
  <em> Repeat. </em>
</p><p>Your <strong> xxxxx xxxxx </strong> died, and it's partly your fault.</p><p>your</p><p>
  <em>f</em>
</p><p>
  <em>a</em>
</p><p>
  <em>u</em>
</p><p>
  <em>l</em>
</p><p>
  <em>t</em>
</p><p>You don't even comprehend what's happening, do you? They sent war<strong>ships- </strong> <em> neverbethat. </em> Ever again.</p><p>SAY IT.</p><p> </p><p>im just- imgoing<strong> home </strong></p>
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